Frances has Traveler's Block. That's writer's block but while traveling. I can't think of anything worse.
I'd like to write about something other than myself, but since I'm still stuck in a rut... that's all I can muster up. Sigh.
:(
Nevertheless, here's a quote from Hamlet which thanks to Kenneth Branagh's 4-hour epic production, IS my favorite play to this day... from Act II, Scene II: "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so".
12.9.09
11.9.09
Thought of the Night...
It's a dangerous thing, blogging at 3 in the morning.
Continuing with my Shakespearean state of mind... tonight's quote of choice is from Twelfth Night, one of my favorite plays and one that introduced me to Shakespeare in 7th grade. Mrs. Floe, the devil herself on scooter, made sure we ate, drank, and slept Shakespeare. More on that another time.
And so from Act III, Scene 1: "Love sought is good, but giv'n unsought is better".
Earlier today, a friend wondered why it was that it's never the one who you want to be clingy that is, and it's always the ones you don't want to be clingy who are. Her ex from five years ago hasn't quite got the message that even if he was the last man on earth, she wouldn't be back with him.
Anyway, my thoughts on the subject - I don't think clingy is a good thing, period.
Reflecting on the quote, I'll let love come to me.
Continuing with my Shakespearean state of mind... tonight's quote of choice is from Twelfth Night, one of my favorite plays and one that introduced me to Shakespeare in 7th grade. Mrs. Floe, the devil herself on scooter, made sure we ate, drank, and slept Shakespeare. More on that another time.
And so from Act III, Scene 1: "Love sought is good, but giv'n unsought is better".
Earlier today, a friend wondered why it was that it's never the one who you want to be clingy that is, and it's always the ones you don't want to be clingy who are. Her ex from five years ago hasn't quite got the message that even if he was the last man on earth, she wouldn't be back with him.
Anyway, my thoughts on the subject - I don't think clingy is a good thing, period.
Reflecting on the quote, I'll let love come to me.
9.9.09
Quote of the Day
While leaving Kasai Road, I enjoy a moment with the snippity little dog next door who is barking its stupid little head off. It barked at me, I 'barked' back, it barked some more, I bared my teeth and snarled a little... what? Don't judge me.
Seeing this, Auntie Agnes says, "that dog - all sound and fury signfying nothing".
My mouth is agape, "What! That's a brilliant quote!"
"... it's Shakespeare!"
In the back of her car I hang my head in shame... "Oh..."
My mom chimes in, "don't you have all his books...? Time to..."
".... yeah..."
So here, quote of the day from Sir William Shakespeare: "Life is a tale told by an idiot -- full of sound and fury, signifying nothing".
Sometimes that's how I view my blogs. Fail.
Seeing this, Auntie Agnes says, "that dog - all sound and fury signfying nothing".
My mouth is agape, "What! That's a brilliant quote!"
"... it's Shakespeare!"
In the back of her car I hang my head in shame... "Oh..."
My mom chimes in, "don't you have all his books...? Time to..."
".... yeah..."
So here, quote of the day from Sir William Shakespeare: "Life is a tale told by an idiot -- full of sound and fury, signifying nothing".
Sometimes that's how I view my blogs. Fail.
6.9.09
Continuation...
So to keep me from playing anymore Bejeweled for the evening... already a quick tangent: stupid brother brings out the "oh-look-it's-a-game-and-there's-a-high-score-table-and-my-name's-not-on-it-so-now-I-have-to-play-it" in me EVERYTIME we're together. So in spite of the fact that I am in a foreign country and therefore should be doing what may be considered... foreign things, I am in fact, sitting on the floor of his flat, on the laptop, playing my 1,000th game of Bejeweled. At least I was, and now I've decided to write a bit, but I'm not sure what's going to come out because it's 12:45 in the morning after a not-too-eventful day.
A recap: Lunch was Dim Sum - delightfully-plated and delicious - at the Conrad Hotel with my First Uncle, Auntie, Cousin and Cousin-in-Law. This was followed by a visit to the Peranakan Museum and a long trek to and through the major shopping plazas on Orchard Road. Subsequently amazed by Singaporean architectural ingenuity. They have been and are somehow able to construct massive shopping blocks and underground thruways without disrupting the daily flow of traffic and access to neighboring plazas. Incidentally, I came face to face with most of Singaporeans in the new Ion center... insane number of shoppers and lookers. Highlight of this little window-shopping trip? A new bakery called BreadSociety... cute little shop with French tunes playing overhead, aside from the unmistakable smell of freshly baked bread, I was drawn by the bakers in action, with one in particular that I thought was the head-chef, who was Japanese and looked up and flashed a quick and friendly smile in my direction when he saw me watching him with fascination as his deft fingers worked the dough. It was amazing to see each and every little baked good hand-worked to such a degree, there were seven bakers working in a tiny station, but while working at a brisk pace, they all seemed happy and relaxed. I had one lovely creation - a light bread with stuffed smoked chicken topped with melted cheese... mmmm....
Back to the original intention of this blog, to continue patting myself on the back on my why I should be proud of myself list:
10. I will not settle for less than what I deserve.
To expound: Because dammit I offer nothing less in return. With anything and anyone that I truly care about, I will do nothing half-assed.
Bonus material: A snippet to Frances at age 18 to early 20's: Relatively alone, having moved south from San Fran to LA. Looked up what it meant to be self-actualized, wanted to be that. Often sidetracked by ill-advised romantic pursuits which subsequently failed miserably, but from an individual growth standpoint, undeterred in becoming a well-rounded and likable person. I noted my strengths and weaknesses, what I wanted, what I wanted to work on. I wanted and still want to be the best version of myself in all situations and with all people, but while that's unlikely because I tend to bend (not over backwards) to accommodate who I'm with, I'm looking for people (and THE person) that when around them, I find that I AM the best version of myself. I want to be challenged. I want to be inspired. I want... a list of things that'll make up its own blog at another time, haha.
And this takes us to...
#11: I am eternally optimistic.
A recap: Lunch was Dim Sum - delightfully-plated and delicious - at the Conrad Hotel with my First Uncle, Auntie, Cousin and Cousin-in-Law. This was followed by a visit to the Peranakan Museum and a long trek to and through the major shopping plazas on Orchard Road. Subsequently amazed by Singaporean architectural ingenuity. They have been and are somehow able to construct massive shopping blocks and underground thruways without disrupting the daily flow of traffic and access to neighboring plazas. Incidentally, I came face to face with most of Singaporeans in the new Ion center... insane number of shoppers and lookers. Highlight of this little window-shopping trip? A new bakery called BreadSociety... cute little shop with French tunes playing overhead, aside from the unmistakable smell of freshly baked bread, I was drawn by the bakers in action, with one in particular that I thought was the head-chef, who was Japanese and looked up and flashed a quick and friendly smile in my direction when he saw me watching him with fascination as his deft fingers worked the dough. It was amazing to see each and every little baked good hand-worked to such a degree, there were seven bakers working in a tiny station, but while working at a brisk pace, they all seemed happy and relaxed. I had one lovely creation - a light bread with stuffed smoked chicken topped with melted cheese... mmmm....
Back to the original intention of this blog, to continue patting myself on the back on my why I should be proud of myself list:
10. I will not settle for less than what I deserve.
To expound: Because dammit I offer nothing less in return. With anything and anyone that I truly care about, I will do nothing half-assed.
Bonus material: A snippet to Frances at age 18 to early 20's: Relatively alone, having moved south from San Fran to LA. Looked up what it meant to be self-actualized, wanted to be that. Often sidetracked by ill-advised romantic pursuits which subsequently failed miserably, but from an individual growth standpoint, undeterred in becoming a well-rounded and likable person. I noted my strengths and weaknesses, what I wanted, what I wanted to work on. I wanted and still want to be the best version of myself in all situations and with all people, but while that's unlikely because I tend to bend (not over backwards) to accommodate who I'm with, I'm looking for people (and THE person) that when around them, I find that I AM the best version of myself. I want to be challenged. I want to be inspired. I want... a list of things that'll make up its own blog at another time, haha.
And this takes us to...
#11: I am eternally optimistic.
13.8.09
Let's try something different...
Twenty-eight reasons to be proud of myself:
1. I take vitamins. Ok this first one was just a throaway and more of a reason for my mom to be proud of me.
2. I recycle, buy (mostly) organic produce and am mindful of curbing mindless, unnecessary consumption.
3. I rarely suffer from hormanally-induced rages suffered by those of my gender on a monthly basis. I am consistently logical and rational.
4. While it may be mistaken for workaholicism, I care about my work and go to extraordinary lengths to do it with excellence, regardless the amount of extra time I clock in or the number of people I potentially piss off.
5. I recognize my shortcomings and I know when to apologize.
6. I don't sacrifice style nor comfort.
7. I will hold my ground and stand up for what's right.
8. I care deeply for my family and friends.
9. I laugh for the world to hear. No prissy giggles here.
Ok 28 may be a tall order, so let's just go with the 9 for now and we'll continue this later...haha.
1. I take vitamins. Ok this first one was just a throaway and more of a reason for my mom to be proud of me.
2. I recycle, buy (mostly) organic produce and am mindful of curbing mindless, unnecessary consumption.
3. I rarely suffer from hormanally-induced rages suffered by those of my gender on a monthly basis. I am consistently logical and rational.
4. While it may be mistaken for workaholicism, I care about my work and go to extraordinary lengths to do it with excellence, regardless the amount of extra time I clock in or the number of people I potentially piss off.
5. I recognize my shortcomings and I know when to apologize.
6. I don't sacrifice style nor comfort.
7. I will hold my ground and stand up for what's right.
8. I care deeply for my family and friends.
9. I laugh for the world to hear. No prissy giggles here.
Ok 28 may be a tall order, so let's just go with the 9 for now and we'll continue this later...haha.
9.8.09
It's 2:48am in the morning and I'm insanely going out of my mind.
I hate it. Uncertainty. Not knowing if it's going to work out, I'm driven to tears. What is "it"? "It" is my life. My sanity. My happiness. The feeling of peace and contentment. It's not there. It's fragmented.... I'd hated on living on just pockets of happiness, fleeting moments, yet here I am back at it again. A feeling that's none too foreign.
I'm speaking having downed 4 martini's. 3 Lemon drops, 1 of something the Bartender had concocted but I'd not remembered. It was irrelevant since the Lemon Drop was far superior. Note to self, when in Fullerton, head to the Matador for good dance music and excellent martini.
Alcohol makes one honest... is this the case? I'd like to think I AM honest. But TRUTHFULLY (ah yes, there in lies the rub) I am not always honest. How can you if you want to be a decent human being?? Nontheless I'm besides myself with confusion and an utter sense of... "god am I ever going to get this right". Will I ever get to where I need to be to NOT have this sense of repetitive failure. Or heartache. The heart ACHES.
I need more Lemon Drops to knock me out cold.
I hate it. Uncertainty. Not knowing if it's going to work out, I'm driven to tears. What is "it"? "It" is my life. My sanity. My happiness. The feeling of peace and contentment. It's not there. It's fragmented.... I'd hated on living on just pockets of happiness, fleeting moments, yet here I am back at it again. A feeling that's none too foreign.
I'm speaking having downed 4 martini's. 3 Lemon drops, 1 of something the Bartender had concocted but I'd not remembered. It was irrelevant since the Lemon Drop was far superior. Note to self, when in Fullerton, head to the Matador for good dance music and excellent martini.
Alcohol makes one honest... is this the case? I'd like to think I AM honest. But TRUTHFULLY (ah yes, there in lies the rub) I am not always honest. How can you if you want to be a decent human being?? Nontheless I'm besides myself with confusion and an utter sense of... "god am I ever going to get this right". Will I ever get to where I need to be to NOT have this sense of repetitive failure. Or heartache. The heart ACHES.
I need more Lemon Drops to knock me out cold.
21.3.09
Should've known better than to see Knowing.
... the irritation runneth over. No more than 30 minutes has passed since I left the local AMC. I'm still seething. I've already soundly run off a string of expletives (as I was exiting the theatre) that I don't normally use in my writing, so this requires a bit more thought and creativity.
This is me at my most creative: "....WTF !?!?!?!"
Some context: I'm a diaster movie enthusiast. I don't analyze them or judge them based on artistic merits, I just like watching things freeze over, buildings burn up, ocean waves sweep over Manhattan or any other metropolitan city, voclano erupting with hot lava floating down wilshire blvd in LA, that kinda thing. Harmless death and destruction where you don't see a single drop of blood on screen or a broken limb. But you know from the wayward palm tree that serious crap must have happened. People don't even usually let out blood-curdling screams let alone a whimper. Shit hits the fan and then some heroic figure rises from the dust and saves the day. Humanity lives on, having somehow changed for the better, or having learned a valuable lesson. They rebuild, ever hopeful.
KNOWING... IS NOT THAT MOVIE.
There was a LOT of screaming and hysterics. A LOT of death and graphic destruction. And then things turned weird and uncomfortable. Whenever I start to actively wonder about a movie while I'm still watching the movie, it's a bad sign. The thoughts roll into questions... from "Where have I seen that before...?" it turns into "where are they going with this... ? to the worse, "No really... are you serious... THAT'S what this movie is about...?!" Granted, when the first creepy guy showed up with the undead-but-not-quite-alive-calvin-klein-model-alien-vibe (SPOILER ALERT!) and pale face, the PSA should've sounded off in the theater... "Evacuate the building now if you're expecting something other than Signs II..." And then you find out Nicholas Cage's character happens to be the son of a Pastor. All bets are off, at this point you're in some Evangelical nightmare and in the end the theme can only become 'rebirth after the death and destruction of failed humanity'. They even put angel wings on the alien beings/light-spirits/things. I half-expected Noah's Ark to float down when the light beams (yes there are light beams) shone down, parting the dark dark evil clouds. I know this particular blog is lacking oh... form? But pardon me as I haven't been this upset with a movie since... Cabin Fever.
I'm sure when I wake up in the morning I will remember that there were good parts to this movie, and I do still like Nicholas Cage and he being the central character, turned out to be the only likeable character - but - what I'm MOST upset by is the feeling that I'd been cleverly CONNED into seeing this movie. Often after having seen a particularly good indie film, I wonder why the producers or those in marketing hadn't trusted the movie's inherent message enough to pitch it to the audience as is, instead of just wrapping it in previews that feature knee-slap soundbites or snippets that ultimately is not at all what the movie is about. Now with Knowing, I think they recognized that they HAD to approach it from a action disaster suspense thriller angle to sell the tickets, and omitted ANY scenes that communicated the underlying themes and overtones this movie swelled into. From solving numerical puzzles and running from diasaster, it slowly became very preachy and overly omnious, aided by a swelling musical score that was constant and grandios (in a bad way) and built upon its sense of self-importance, building and building but never quite resolving or even reaching the apex of what it's trying to reach.
I will say that one of the final scenes with Nicholas Cage waking up to the sun lying on the onyx rocks, was astoundingly beautiful, purely from an aesthetics and cinematographic standpoint. Moments like this are short-lived, and we're quickly jolted back to reality of what this movie had really become as we see the Adam and Eve children (straight from the Bloomgindale's catalog with their organic cotton genderless shirts, soft curls and porcelain faces) gently placing down a pair of cuddly white bunny rabbits and running guilelessly towards the majestic and glowing TREE OF LIFE. The religious symbolisms are not what you would describe as subtle... and all around them you see the other jellyfish-like alien pods lifting off this lush green planet... home, to the next human population.
Yes, this was THAT movie. That OTHER movie.
Had they been honest with their previews, I probably would not be this upset. I would have approached the movie differently, with a very different set of expectations and frame of mind. But as this was not the circumstances under which I shelled over my treasured Costco-purchased discount-AMC-Gold-Tickets, I want my money back and I don't think I'll be alone in my sentiments. My 'prophecy' for this movie: 60% drop in box office returns from opening weekend to the next.
This is me at my most creative: "....WTF !?!?!?!"
Some context: I'm a diaster movie enthusiast. I don't analyze them or judge them based on artistic merits, I just like watching things freeze over, buildings burn up, ocean waves sweep over Manhattan or any other metropolitan city, voclano erupting with hot lava floating down wilshire blvd in LA, that kinda thing. Harmless death and destruction where you don't see a single drop of blood on screen or a broken limb. But you know from the wayward palm tree that serious crap must have happened. People don't even usually let out blood-curdling screams let alone a whimper. Shit hits the fan and then some heroic figure rises from the dust and saves the day. Humanity lives on, having somehow changed for the better, or having learned a valuable lesson. They rebuild, ever hopeful.
KNOWING... IS NOT THAT MOVIE.
There was a LOT of screaming and hysterics. A LOT of death and graphic destruction. And then things turned weird and uncomfortable. Whenever I start to actively wonder about a movie while I'm still watching the movie, it's a bad sign. The thoughts roll into questions... from "Where have I seen that before...?" it turns into "where are they going with this... ? to the worse, "No really... are you serious... THAT'S what this movie is about...?!" Granted, when the first creepy guy showed up with the undead-but-not-quite-alive-calvin-klein-model-alien-vibe (SPOILER ALERT!) and pale face, the PSA should've sounded off in the theater... "Evacuate the building now if you're expecting something other than Signs II..." And then you find out Nicholas Cage's character happens to be the son of a Pastor. All bets are off, at this point you're in some Evangelical nightmare and in the end the theme can only become 'rebirth after the death and destruction of failed humanity'. They even put angel wings on the alien beings/light-spirits/things. I half-expected Noah's Ark to float down when the light beams (yes there are light beams) shone down, parting the dark dark evil clouds. I know this particular blog is lacking oh... form? But pardon me as I haven't been this upset with a movie since... Cabin Fever.
I'm sure when I wake up in the morning I will remember that there were good parts to this movie, and I do still like Nicholas Cage and he being the central character, turned out to be the only likeable character - but - what I'm MOST upset by is the feeling that I'd been cleverly CONNED into seeing this movie. Often after having seen a particularly good indie film, I wonder why the producers or those in marketing hadn't trusted the movie's inherent message enough to pitch it to the audience as is, instead of just wrapping it in previews that feature knee-slap soundbites or snippets that ultimately is not at all what the movie is about. Now with Knowing, I think they recognized that they HAD to approach it from a action disaster suspense thriller angle to sell the tickets, and omitted ANY scenes that communicated the underlying themes and overtones this movie swelled into. From solving numerical puzzles and running from diasaster, it slowly became very preachy and overly omnious, aided by a swelling musical score that was constant and grandios (in a bad way) and built upon its sense of self-importance, building and building but never quite resolving or even reaching the apex of what it's trying to reach.
I will say that one of the final scenes with Nicholas Cage waking up to the sun lying on the onyx rocks, was astoundingly beautiful, purely from an aesthetics and cinematographic standpoint. Moments like this are short-lived, and we're quickly jolted back to reality of what this movie had really become as we see the Adam and Eve children (straight from the Bloomgindale's catalog with their organic cotton genderless shirts, soft curls and porcelain faces) gently placing down a pair of cuddly white bunny rabbits and running guilelessly towards the majestic and glowing TREE OF LIFE. The religious symbolisms are not what you would describe as subtle... and all around them you see the other jellyfish-like alien pods lifting off this lush green planet... home, to the next human population.
Yes, this was THAT movie. That OTHER movie.
Had they been honest with their previews, I probably would not be this upset. I would have approached the movie differently, with a very different set of expectations and frame of mind. But as this was not the circumstances under which I shelled over my treasured Costco-purchased discount-AMC-Gold-Tickets, I want my money back and I don't think I'll be alone in my sentiments. My 'prophecy' for this movie: 60% drop in box office returns from opening weekend to the next.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)