... the irritation runneth over. No more than 30 minutes has passed since I left the local AMC. I'm still seething. I've already soundly run off a string of expletives (as I was exiting the theatre) that I don't normally use in my writing, so this requires a bit more thought and creativity.
This is me at my most creative: "....WTF !?!?!?!"
Some context: I'm a diaster movie enthusiast. I don't analyze them or judge them based on artistic merits, I just like watching things freeze over, buildings burn up, ocean waves sweep over Manhattan or any other metropolitan city, voclano erupting with hot lava floating down wilshire blvd in LA, that kinda thing. Harmless death and destruction where you don't see a single drop of blood on screen or a broken limb. But you know from the wayward palm tree that serious crap must have happened. People don't even usually let out blood-curdling screams let alone a whimper. Shit hits the fan and then some heroic figure rises from the dust and saves the day. Humanity lives on, having somehow changed for the better, or having learned a valuable lesson. They rebuild, ever hopeful.
KNOWING... IS NOT THAT MOVIE.
There was a LOT of screaming and hysterics. A LOT of death and graphic destruction. And then things turned weird and uncomfortable. Whenever I start to actively wonder about a movie while I'm still watching the movie, it's a bad sign. The thoughts roll into questions... from "Where have I seen that before...?" it turns into "where are they going with this... ? to the worse, "No really... are you serious... THAT'S what this movie is about...?!" Granted, when the first creepy guy showed up with the undead-but-not-quite-alive-calvin-klein-model-alien-vibe (SPOILER ALERT!) and pale face, the PSA should've sounded off in the theater... "Evacuate the building now if you're expecting something other than Signs II..." And then you find out Nicholas Cage's character happens to be the son of a Pastor. All bets are off, at this point you're in some Evangelical nightmare and in the end the theme can only become 'rebirth after the death and destruction of failed humanity'. They even put angel wings on the alien beings/light-spirits/things. I half-expected Noah's Ark to float down when the light beams (yes there are light beams) shone down, parting the dark dark evil clouds. I know this particular blog is lacking oh... form? But pardon me as I haven't been this upset with a movie since... Cabin Fever.
I'm sure when I wake up in the morning I will remember that there were good parts to this movie, and I do still like Nicholas Cage and he being the central character, turned out to be the only likeable character - but - what I'm MOST upset by is the feeling that I'd been cleverly CONNED into seeing this movie. Often after having seen a particularly good indie film, I wonder why the producers or those in marketing hadn't trusted the movie's inherent message enough to pitch it to the audience as is, instead of just wrapping it in previews that feature knee-slap soundbites or snippets that ultimately is not at all what the movie is about. Now with Knowing, I think they recognized that they HAD to approach it from a action disaster suspense thriller angle to sell the tickets, and omitted ANY scenes that communicated the underlying themes and overtones this movie swelled into. From solving numerical puzzles and running from diasaster, it slowly became very preachy and overly omnious, aided by a swelling musical score that was constant and grandios (in a bad way) and built upon its sense of self-importance, building and building but never quite resolving or even reaching the apex of what it's trying to reach.
I will say that one of the final scenes with Nicholas Cage waking up to the sun lying on the onyx rocks, was astoundingly beautiful, purely from an aesthetics and cinematographic standpoint. Moments like this are short-lived, and we're quickly jolted back to reality of what this movie had really become as we see the Adam and Eve children (straight from the Bloomgindale's catalog with their organic cotton genderless shirts, soft curls and porcelain faces) gently placing down a pair of cuddly white bunny rabbits and running guilelessly towards the majestic and glowing TREE OF LIFE. The religious symbolisms are not what you would describe as subtle... and all around them you see the other jellyfish-like alien pods lifting off this lush green planet... home, to the next human population.
Yes, this was THAT movie. That OTHER movie.
Had they been honest with their previews, I probably would not be this upset. I would have approached the movie differently, with a very different set of expectations and frame of mind. But as this was not the circumstances under which I shelled over my treasured Costco-purchased discount-AMC-Gold-Tickets, I want my money back and I don't think I'll be alone in my sentiments. My 'prophecy' for this movie: 60% drop in box office returns from opening weekend to the next.
